Saturday, February 11, 2012

Skinny Love?

"It's called skinny love" - is it truly skinny love when you're not totally sure how the other one feels about you? Whether he has feelings or no feelings at all towards you..? Little by little I'm getting more and more scared......



After hearing that I've been a bit worried and don't really know what to do.. I've had his number for a while since we're in the same group but I didn't text or call him before this Thursday..
The day was okay, I went to school and I met him in the lobby. We talked a bit, walked up the stairs and stopped to talk for a bit before going to our own classes. I had Russian and kept a presentation about Trans-Siberian Train while he was having an exam. Our classes were next to each other and the fact that one of the walls in each classroom is made of glass and you can see to the next class........... So of course I was staring to that class whenever I got the chance to.. (I seriously start to feel like a frigging stalker..

After that me and L went to the cafeteria to eat and he and J were just leaving. We had a small chat and then they left and we stayed there. I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't talk with him but life is a bitch at times.. I ate rather quickly (I had 2 bags with me since I was leaving to Lappeenranta right after school) and "surprisingly" my international friends were talking with him and I ended up joining them. We chatted for a while and in the end I was starting to leave for our Swedish lesson and I was a bit surprised that he followed me.

"It's fun how people are like lambs, when one moves others follow"

We stood outside the classroom chatting and waited for the teacher. In the end she came 15 minutes late and somehow I ended up sitting next to him once again as H sat next to her dear friend and my other Finnish friends were allowed to skip the Swedish classes so I only have the guys to "hang out" with. We were even given a pair assignment and there were 11 of us so I ended up working with 2 guys as H immediately paired up with her BFF and other girls sat quite far away from us and don't usually even talk with me so I basically had no other choice. It was quite fun to work with them, nothing like working with other girls.

After the class we were packing up and I wished him a great weekend with a smile and the only reply I got was "Go away...."
I laughed a bit and left to look for A while he went upstairs to work with a project.
I waited for a while and then walked downstairs with A just to see S and J there. I went straight to them and they told me that the 3rd member of their group had just left when they were going to start working.
So they decided to postpone it once again.

After the chat they left and I left a bit after them. After walking for a while I think I saw them about 200 meters away from me and I decided to call S. I let it ring twice and then I decided to hang up. A couple of seconds after it he called me back and I replied asking them to wait.
They did wait and we walked together to the bus station. I had to wait there for nearly 40 minutes for the bus but during that time I ran to my little brother and had a chat with him and S even joined us after checking the book store for a Spanish book.

After he left it didn't take more than 5 minutes for my bus to arrive and I took a 3 hour long bus ride to Lappeenranta to meet my dear old classmates and spend the weekend with them. GREAT to see people after some months and have so much to talk about! Lots of tea, movies (the Other Boleyn girl, The King's Speech, Third Star and Bunraku) and shopping

via

Yesterday was his birthday and I was able to wish him happy birthday via text message and he replied to me. At times I felt like an idiot waiting for his reply and sending lots of unnecessary questions (probably making me look stupid) just to text with him. After about 10 messages I didn't make up any questions and stopped.
I hate the fact that guys usually don't reply to messages unless you put a question or two after those (and apparently they like avoiding some questions as well..). I don't know whether I want to see him on Monday as I feel like an idiot.. I want to send him a couple of messages and girls have tried to encourage me but as I'm really afraid of letting my feelings show. I really don't want him to know if he doesn't feel the same and at the moment I have no idea what he's thinking when he's talking with me.......
Why are people and feelings so complicated?

~Lily

About Lappeenranta in the next post..

And the song which has been playing in my mind for many days:

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