Wednesday, February 8, 2012

"AWWWWWW!!! You looked SO~ cute!! You should always wear that wig!!"

Once again something my "big sister" said to me..

She has lived in Japan so she's fluent in Japanese while I'm just messing around and using some of the phrases and words I know, for example: (add extra cutesy expressions)
Lily: "Watashiwa kawaii desu!"
T: "Sou da ne!" (sorry if I misspelled that)

I seriously can't understand where she gets all her energy from! She's like a Pikachu that never runs out of energy! :) Maybe that's why she and L always hang out together - T is the cheerful and positive one while L is the moody and negative one :) I really love spending time with both of them since I have both of those parts inside of me - at the moment I'm really positive and happy about EVERYTHING :) And I'm a lot more social than I used to be :) Though I still avoid the blonds in my class :)

This morning started well - I nearly over slept. I ran around my apartments when A rang the doorbell. I left her in and she just watched me running around gathering everything together.
In the end we were on time near the parking lot and we got a ride to the school (someone else paid my bus ticket for this month :3) and at school I heard (once again) how me and my mom really look alike. "Especially the hair" thank you A!

When the Russian class started 8.15am the internet was down and we weren't able to keep our presentation with L (about Trans-Siberian Train :)) and in the end we just listened to the teacher and had fun until 9.30am.

After that we went to wait for T and A (I just wanted to see S :3) to finish their Spanish test. I have some problems with walking with my lovely shoes so I sat down while talking about the projects (L, A and T are going to Rovaniemi while me, D and S are going to Tallinn :)) with L. I sat there for a while and in the end S ended up coming out of the class amongst the last ones. A was waiting to talk to some teacher so I didn't have to move and when S saw me he smiled and sat next to me. We started talking about everything and anything while others just left and went somewhere else.
There was also a chat about the fact that most people see me as "an independent/strong girl/woman" who doesn't need a man. I find this both a compliment and an insult at the same time. I might be strong but I'd still love to have someone to share experiences with. I might be strong but I'm still a normal girl.

He told me about his injury, I told him about mine, we talked about the fact that both of us have been bullied, I even opened up to him about my mother and the fact that I lost a lot of weight in a short period of time and I was kinda surprised by his reaction.. I'm surprised how little time it took for me to let all my walls go down and just be myself while talking with him.. We even shared some other experiences and he was surprised when I told him that some people think that I'm an asshole. I know that HE can be the biggest asshole you've met if he wants to but usually he's one of the funniest and greatest guys I've ever met (great to be hanging out with guys once again :)).
After sitting there for nearly an hour just talking (we both have skip hours between 9.45am and 12pm on Wednesdays :)) we left for the cafeteria to get something to eat. He was the one who went on ahead looking for a table and I was almost ready to go sit somewhere on my own but he was first heading to an empty table, saw H and went to the same table with her and I followed him (usually S doesn't talk or hang out with H but I guess he knows that me and H are kinda friends..). We sat there just the three of us and had a nice chat when J decided to join us. During that time S asked whether see through shirts are still out of fashion as one of our classmates had a shirt like that this morning. I started smiling "So you noticed it as well?" and somehow we ended up talking about the most awful clothes and styles there are.
My current roommate sat a bit farther away from us but still behind S. I smiled a bit and told the guys that my roommate is behind him. After checking her out S just shook his head and told me he can't imagine us being roommates as she looks like a blond bimbo who believes in God while I'm more like "the girl next door" and I don't belong to the church. I hadn't told him about that and when I asked him about it the only reply I got was: "It fits your profile, you don't believe in God or belong to the church."

After that we went to our next class and I started thinking about everything unimportant. I drew during the class, watched as S fell asleep and while the teacher said something that memories about others are usually linked to certain emotions or experiences. Thanks to that I started thinking that I couldn't even remember S's eye colour.

After the class we started chatting about our next classes since the internet connection was still down and we heard that the classes can't be held without it. :3
Me, S and J stayed near the classroom and chatted (S has been hanging out with me more than before.. Bet people will start talking soon unless they already do - he told me that the same has happened to him earlier - people think that when a guy and a girl hang out they can't be just friends. It wouldn't bother me at all even if they'd think that we're dating - just found out that he's single~ ;)). The girl with the see-through shirt came and exchanged a couple of words with me while J just stared at her boobs. I started smiling, even laughing and after I THOUGHT J had gone I started laughing that he had obviously just stared at her boobs. S just shrugged and said that guys are built that way. At that point I felt a bit bad. I've little by little started to accept my body even though I still wish I would be a bit skinnier or that all my fat would be around my chest.. But luckily the conversation went on~
During that time I realized that he has blueish eyes (and I LOVE blue eyes - always have).
After hearing that I have some slight preconceptions when it comes to blonds he told me that during the first week he was looking through our whole class and checking the ones with whom he'll never get along with (based on the looks). Didn't have the courage to ask him did he think that he wouldn't get along with me.

When the teacher told us that we won't be having any classes we were pretty much next to each other and turned to talk to each other immediately after the teacher stopped talking.
I asked whether he had the bus timetable with him and he took his phone and started checking those out for me. But thanks to the fact that L came to school with her car I got a ride from her.

I seriously like him and I hope I'll end up with him, one way or another..



ps. I've received 4 letters and 2 postcards this week but only posted Aya-chan's package (I'm 10,35€ poorer ;;__;;) this week and I guess I won't be mailing anything before next week/week 8 thanks to my plans of meeting 2 awesome gurls in Lappeenranta and having more than enough to do during the evenings (I should have been writing a law assignment while doing this but I still have time until tomorrow morning, who cares about sleeping? :DD).

pps. I'm not sorry if you're not interested. I started this blog to collect my thoughts somewhere and I'll continue it the same way :)


  1. You write a good personal diary here, I think that's great, so just keep it up ;) It even might be interesting to read after years.
    There was one thought that ''girls and boys can't be just friends''. I always disagree with this, it's just stupid that if a girl and boy is seen together, they are a couple or if someone of them is already dating, then they are cheating. No way. Guys are can be friends and they are absolutely better than girls many times.
    I know I know, my fault :p But you shouldn't have decided to send something as expensive as that.

  2. Thank you :)
    I don't think I could ever stop writing my blog - I need a diary but I can't keep a paper one no matter how many times I try :)

    I know what you mean! When I started school my best friends were all boys and I LOVED hanging out with them. No backstabbing or shit - just friendship and trust. Guys are most of the time better friends than girls. :)