Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Life At The Dorm

Lily: YAY! Finally I get to eat some tuna!! ^^
Raven: You know.. There's tuna scales and fishbones in those tunas..
-add a silence while Lily looks at the tuna and the Raven and back at the tuna-
Lily: I'M STILL EATING IT!

To be honest I never imagined that living in a dorm would be this much fun.. Even though I'm spending my time in a neighbour room.. To be honest I kinda live here and my room is more like an exercise room and place where you can go if you want to be alone for a while :)
I get to laugh everyday and I love it. :)
I've been busy with school and the dorm is pretty cold at the moment but I don't care :) At least I'm having fun :D And the mold in our shower.. We don't even see it anymore :D Okay, I'm sick a lot because of the mold but who cares!
I get to drink tea with the greatest people! :) And we're having a "Tea Club" with Raven, at least that's what Katri says whenever we're going to the kitchen with our tea cups :)
And the tea tags in postcrossing forums are just what I need! :D I get to taste different kinds of teas from all over the world and I usually find at least one tea that I love in every package I get :)
I'm happy here.. I wish this year would never end!

Letters&Postcards :)

~Lily

Monday, March 28, 2011

"You're Mean And Bitchy"

Yes. I AM outspoken and I WILL and I DO say what I think. I may sound bitchy and everything but so do most of the girls in the world, right?
There's been wars over stupid things through the whole year and now there's one starting because the hotel in London where we'll be staying for 6 nights ain't that good.. It's a shit hole but at least you get a bed and won't be forced to sleep on the concrete.

Images of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel, London
This photo of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel is courtesy of TripAdvisor
Photos of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel, London
This photo of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel is courtesy of TripAdvisor
Photos of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel, London
This photo of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel is courtesy of TripAdvisor
Photos of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel, London
This photo of Northumberland Kings Cross Hotel is courtesy of TripAdvisor

I've been travelling a lot ever since I turned 4 and I've been in many countries in Europe and traveled around Australia as well.
I were in Albania when I was 14 and the country is really poor, poorest in Europe. I had the chance to walk around Tirana and saw some other cities, it wasn't anything like the normal trips people plan to the southern countries. It opened my eyes. Not everyone live that well. I saw how it affects people.
I've also seen and experienced different kinds of hotels. One hotel I visited was in the Red Lights District and another one was a SHIT HOLE and I paid at least 60 euros for that!
So the hell hole we're going during our study trip is NOTHING compared to that :)

The location of the hotel is PERFECT! Cross the road and you're in Kings' Cross Station. There's underground station and many other things right next to the hotel. There's some pictures of mold problems in the hotel and one review saying that they had bedbugs.. Not a problem for me.. At least I don't need to sleep on the floor! It'll be an adventure! :D

I'm really looking forward to the trip. I'll be able to visit Cardiff and spend time in London with friends! :)
I'll probably write more about our plans in there later~ :)

~Lily

Monday, March 21, 2011

Sweetest Girl

Nothing has happened lately.. At least nothing interesting.. I've been finishing assignments and home exams.. Stayed up late, slept for a couple of hours during the nights, drank many cups of tea..
Well, one thing that did happen was that our Canadian teacher came and made a breakfast for us :) 2 of my friends won this one quiz and as a prize M promised to make them and some of their friends a Canadian breakfast :) It was great!! I really enjoyed the pancakes and maple syrup! :)

Nothing has happened between me and "More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers" since I've been dead busy and haven't talked with him.. We're in good terms but I don't know.. I'm still a bit worried and afraid..

I'm energetic but on the other hand I have no energy to do a thing.. I'm happy but yet a bit sad.. Haven't slept in my dorm room for over a week.. I just can't.. I rather spend my time in the room next to my own room (I have one big room all for myself, it's creepy and cold!).. I prefer sleeping on the floor somehow.. Nice to listen to someone else's breathing while falling asleep (it may sound creepy, SORRY!) I just feel comfortable when I know that people are around me..

I joined Postcrossing forums a week ago Friday and I got my first "tag mails" from there :) Fat Mail from USA (a long letter and some kind of a surprise) and a HEARTS tag (cards with a heart or hearts) from Germany :) I was happy that I got those but the fat mail wasn't fat at all.. I only got one sticker and a short letter (and I'm sending a package as the fat mail!) so yeah.. Disappointed..
But I also got 2 postcrossing cards, one from a Finnish woman who lives in Germany and one from Austria :) And a letter from Maria even though she's extremely busy with her matriculation exams :) THANK YOU FOR THE LETTER!! :)

Maybe I'll get more mail this week as I hardly got a thing last week.. This week started perfectly! ^^ I'm waiting for a package from South Korea and I sent a package to Japan (Europe/Asia Surprise mix tag) and tea from all over the world and postcards from.. Russia I guess :)

At the moment I'm relying on music to relax now and then.. At the moment my top 6 songs are:
The Sounds - Better Off Dead
Rihanna feat Eminem - Love The Way You Lie (Part II)
Bruno Mars - Grenade
Wyclef Jean feat. Akon, Lil Wayne and introducing Niia - Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)
Jenni Vartiainen - Duran Duran
Ellie Goulding - Wish I Stayed

I still have one assignment to finish and it's due day will be next Monday.. Need to work on it so no blog posts or letters from me I guess.. Sorry!

~Lily

ps. I was totally surprised when my roommates said that I'm sweet. I've never heard anyone else said it to me like that and I honestly didn't know how to react.

Friday, March 18, 2011

More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers #2

Exactly.

~Lily

Too Messed Up To Write In English

Sorry.. I used English so much during yesterday evening while me and my roommates were talking about things (yup, we're all Finns but we use English during our freetime.. At least now and then..) and I'm busy with all kinds of assignments and exams I need to return soon so I won't be blogging that much..
AND I'm watching how the situation in Japan developes as one of my dear penpals lives in there, in Ibaraki which is pretty near the nuclear power plants of Fukushima...
But that's about the English.
Pray For Japan. Donate Money If You Can.

Olo on aivan sekava. En tiedä miten pitäisi käyttäytyä ja tuntea. Tunteet aivan sekaisin.. Ja tunteiden purkaminen/näyttäminen sattuu..
En tiedä miten pitäisi olla.. Yritän keskittyä palautettaviin tehtäviin, mutta ajatukset lentelevät muualla ja haluaisin itkeä.
Soitin jopa äidille ja puhuin.. Ehkä melkein jo 2 viikon ero on hieman laskenut kaikkea pölyä ja nyt kommunikointi onnistuu taas jotenkin vähän aikaa..
Omaan viha-rakkaus suhteen ihmisiä, varsinkin miehiä kohtaan.
Isää ja pikkuveljeä rakastan perheenjäseninä enkä voisi vihata kumpaakaan, mutta muut miehet..

Tällä hetkellä mm. "More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers"-henkilö ei ole hyvällä puolellani. Omalla kohdalla mielialat vaihtelevat ja kirjoitukset "hey sweety" vain iskevät kovemmin vatsaan. Puukottaminenkin sattuisi vähemmän.. Henkilö ei itse tiedä tästä varmaan mitään ja hyvä niin.. Tekisi vain mieli ottaa kuppi teetä, istua alas ja miettiä kaikkea, mutta haluan saada kokeet ja muut tehtyä mahdollisimman pian ja vedet on katkaistu ja tulee olemaan poissa varmaan 3 asti iltapäivällä, kun remonttimiehet eivät ole vielä lähdössä..

Kirjeiden kirjoittaminenkin voisi rauhoittaa tai pelkkä puhuminen jonkun kanssa, mutten usko kenenkään jaksavan kuunella asioiden jauhamista suustani..


Haluan pois täältä, mutta samalla en tiedä missä muualla pystyisin olla näin rauhassa ja rauhallinen..

~Lily

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers #1

I have to admit it.
I LOVE him.

I don't care whether he sees this or not, nor whether he recognizes himself in the text. I just need to get this out since it's the only subject I don't have the courage to talk to him about.

Miles separates us physically but our minds and hearts are close. I feel happy whenever I get the chance to talk with him and tell him about everything that has happened around me lately.

I've always been better at talking with guys.. (Okay, there are SOME exceptions) Maybe it's because I never had a good relationship with my mom and when I was 6 all of my best friends on my freetime were guys.. And it lasted pretty much until I turned 11.. After that the only guys I've gotten along with have turned out to be assholes (sorry for my language but I'm serious) or just ended up falling for another girl and forget all about me after that. Yay!

So this time I'm afraid of getting my heart broken once again because of the distance between me and him..

We don't share the same mother tongue but it doesn't matter. We both have English as our second language and we use it to communicate with each other. And we could even learn each others' languages.. Well, maybe it would be easier for me to learn his first language than him to learn mine..

We're friends who can talk about everything with each other except of our feelings. Neither of us has the will to confess first, at least I think so, and I don't want to be the one to do that..

Still we're already talking about meeting somewhere in the Europe this summer. Neither of us would be staying in our home country, we'd get to know each other somewhere else and explore a city together.

I hope I'm not waiting for it more than he is.. I'm afraid that things won't happen the way I hope those to.. What if I've read and misunderstood his words, what if I'm JUST a friend to him and he only wishes to see me so that we can sit in somewhere and talk about everything like we always do..

Should I be worried about getting my heart broken or not..?
I believe that long distance relationships can work out but what if..........?

~Lily

Saturday, March 12, 2011

It hurts...

I know this is how it should stay because of everything but still.. It hurts not being able to tell you how much you REALLY mean to me...

~Lily

ps. Everything is just messed up at the moment... I'd be happy if I could be at home for a while...

"IT FUCKING HURTS TO SEE YOU!!"

This time in Finnish as well~

Vietin yöni melko rauhallisesti jos niin voi sanoo.. Nukahdin läppäreide äänii ja kuulin yöllä, ku joku puhu puhelimessa ja lähti sitte huoneesta.
Heräsin ekan kerran n. 9 aikoihin, kattelin ympärilleni ja päätin mennä takasin nukkumaan, VÄSYTTI!

Siitä eteenpäi mun tunteet vaivas mua..
Vaivuin unee ja tietty mä näin unta ensirakkaudestani, josta luulin jo päässeeni yli.. No ehkä eilisen syvälliset keskustelut sai mut taas ajattelee A:ta..

Olin jossain konsertissa ja kattelin aika lähellä istuvaa kundia, joka näytti iha hemmetin tutulta. Hymyilin ja lopulta alettiin jutella, en muista mistä juteltii, vaan sen et oli iha hemmetin hauskaa ja se kiusotteli mua. Naureskelin asioille siinä yhessä ja sitte ku oli aika lähtee siltä jäi joku juttu sinne alueelle. Otin sen ja lähdin perään. Vähitelle alueet alko näyttää vaa tutuimmilta ja lopulta olinki taloyhtiön pihassa jossa vietin ajan, ku olin 6- ~8 ja ~9-10. Mun sydän löi varmaan tuhatta ja sataa ja seurasin A:ta ja sen seuraan liittynyttä S:ää. Ne oli menossa sinne, missä A asu sillon ku en ollu viel muuttanu. Jäin siihe portaide alapäähän ja katoin niitä.
"Mä tiedän ettet sä asu siellä enää."
sanoin ja katoin niitä. S ja A katteli toisiaan ja lopulta A meni siihe asuntoo minne se oli muuttamassa (kait) sillo, ku mä muutin pois pihasta..

Ite en kehannu mennä puhumaan niille ja varsinki, ku A:n seuraan tuli muut kundit, joitten seurassa vietin suurimman osan ajastani koulun jälkeen ala-asteella. Menin viereiseen asuntoon, jossa asuin ennen Australiaa, tai ainakin yritin mennä siihen. Äitini ilmestyi siihen ja alkoi puhua A:lle ja muille kuinka naisia tulee kohdella. Suutuin, kuten yleensäkin, jos äiti sanoo yhtään mitään mikä liittyy tavalla tai toisella tunteisiini ja nousin, en päässyt edes piha maalle kun näin A:n keinuissa kaikkien muiden paitsi S:n kanssa. S katsoi minua silmiin ja kertoi, että oli yrittänyt sivistää kaikkia muita, varsinkin A:ta puolestani(?). Itse taisin vain tuhahtaa ja mennä toisiin keinuihin. Katselin maata, keinuin ja kuuntelin kuinka pojat nauroivat. Tiesin etten itse kehtaisi mennä seuraan, mutta kun lapsuuden perhetuttu tuli häiritsemään nousin ylös ja kävelin A:n luokse. Seisoin hänen edessään ja katsoimme molemmat toisiamme. Keskustelua en muista, muuta kuin että hän halusi minun lähtevän muualle edestään. En suostunut ja lopulta joku thaimaalainen nainen huusi parvekkeelta A:lle. A nyökkäili ja kuunteli ja sen jälkeen alkoi tulkkaamaan sitä minulle. Noin vain. Katselin häntä ja hymyilin hieman. Yritin alkaa puhua tunteistani, mutta kaikki muut lähtivät, jolloin A:kin nousi ja lähti. Päädyin seuraamaan kaikkia entisiä ystäviä/kavereita jonkin sortin majaan ja A katsoi minuun kylmästi:
"Sun ei kuuluis olla täällä"
Yritin saada jotain suustani, mutta mitään ei tullut ulos. Taas muut jatkoivat matkaa, mutta pysyin perässä ja sain A:n kiinni niin ettei hänen ympärillään ollut muita.
"Pysähdy! Kuuntele mua! Mulla ois asiaa!! Mä pyydän!!"
sanoin tai huusin melko epätoivoisesti. A katseli kavereitaan, jotka loittoni ja nyökkäs mulle.
"Sun ei pitäis olla täällä"
A sano melko kylmästi ja hiljaa. Mulla nousi kyyneleet silmiin ja huusin sille:
"IT FUCKING HURTS TO SEE YOU!!"
Se katsahti muhun ja nyökkäs.
"Niin muakin"
se sano ja tunsin ne entiset tunteet sen puolelta. Se käänty toiseen suuntaa kui kaverinsa ja oli lähössä kotiin. A ehti kävellä jonki matkaa, juoksin sen kiinni ja tartuin kädestä tai käsivarresta.
"I.. I LOVE YOU!"
itkin kuin Rose Tyler Doctor Who:n 2006 kauden viimeisessä, "Doomsday" jaksossa ja kuulostinkin Roselta..


A kääntyi, otti minut halaukseensa ja olin onnellinen. Tunsin sen saman rakkauden tunteen, kuin silloin kun vietimme aikaa yhdessä teineinä.

Sitten heräsin. Katsoin ympärilleni, kello oli lähes 11 ja kaikki muut nukkuivat vielä. Hymyilin itsekseni ja mutisin.
"En oo vieläkää tainnu päästä sun yli.."
Nousin ja lähdin huoneesta.


~Lily

Thursday, March 10, 2011

And I Break Down As You Walk Away

This time in Finnish..

Pää on tuntunu oleva hajoomis pisteessä koko viikon. Paniikkikohtaukset on tullu vähintää kerran päivässä, eilistä lukuunottamatta ja nukkumisest ei tuu mitää.. Kaikki mitä on tapahtunu kaatuu niskaa ja tajuntaa vasta nyt. Kaks/Kolme viikkoo sitte mietinki äänee kui oon viel nii hyväs kunnos kaiken tapahtunee jälkeeki.. Se paha olo piti vaa laueta tavalla tai toisella.. Matin kuolema tai sitte koulu jutut.. En yhtää tiiä mikä tän kaiken laukas, mut pysynpähä varpaillani kaiken aikaa..
Tiistai ilta tais olla kaikista pahin.. Kymmenen jälkee olin yksi asuntolan huoneessa ja tuntu kui seinät ois saattanu kaatuu päälle minä hetkenä hyvänsä.. Itkin jonki aikaa ja panikoin KAIKKEA.
Kämppis ilmestyy onneks tänää asuntolalle (TOIVOTTAVASTI) ni ei ainakaa tartte nukkuu enää yksin.. Se on tässä varmaa tuntunu kaikista pahimmalta, ku on tottunu et täällä ollessa huoneessa on aina joku muuki iltasin.

Onneks solun muut ihmiset on kumminki ollu täällä ja oon siitä saanu ees jotain helpotusta ja pystyny rauhottumaan. Kiitos siitä kaikille! Tee hetket on helpottanu oloa ja teekupposen ääressä pystyy puhumaan lähes kaikesta. Jopa hymyilemää vaikka puhuis kuinka pahasta asiasta. Joku kuuntelee ja pystyy kommentoimaan.

Oon lopullisesti myyny sieluni teelle.

Huomenna pääsen taas menemään tunneille, viimeiset kolme päivää on tuntunu lähes mahottomilta.. Tunneilla olisin ollu kui mikäkin aave. Mistään ei olis tullu yhtään mitään, jote oon nukkunu päivisin, ku unirytmi on aika hyvin menny sekasin.. Iltasin jaksasin pyöriä hereillä vaikka kuinka, mut päivät ja aamut tuntuu kamalilta..

Näin välissä kiitokset Ravenille (kortit ja "rommi" tee ovat aivan ihania, kiitos!), X:lle (Ellie Goulding on aivan ihana!) ja joillekin muillekin joille on pystynyt puhumaan tai tekstaamaan pahimmilla hetkillä (mm. Maria&Kimmy). Anteeksi arvaamattomuuteni.

Sen verran oon päättäny etten enää leiki lääkkeillä vaikka olis kuinka vaikeaa tahansa. EN haluu sekottaa päätäni yhtää tän enempää. Haluun päästä kivusta, tuskasta ja kaikesta muusta pahasta eroon puhumalla. Tän vuoden aikana oon löytäny kavereista ja muista ne oikeet ystävät. Ne jotka pysyy rinnalla vaikka mikä olis ja vaikka olisin kuinka ilkee ja hirvee tahansa.

Muistot on ja pysyy vaikka mikä olis. Niistä kipeimmistä tai ihanimmista hetkistä ei pääse eroon vaikka mikä olis ja ehkä niin onki parasta.
Muistan kui ihmine jota pidin ystävänä jätti mut sanomatta mitään. Ei viestiä, soittoa, ei mitään. Se on menossa naimisiin mun kaverin kanssa ens heinäkuus ja ne on onnellisii. Haluaisin onnitella, mutten uskalla lähettää viestiä kummallekaan missään.
Toinen erittäin hyvä ystävä muuttu yhtäkkii ja siinä se sitten oli. Viestit loppu kui seinää ja vaikka kuinka yrittäis taas "uudistaa" ystävyyttä tai muuta se ei lopulta onnistu. Molemmat on muuttunu nii paljon eikä enää oo lähes mitään yhteistä.
Äiti on äiti, vaikka mitä tapahtus. EN osaa vihata sitä, se on kumminki antanu mulle mun elämän ja idioottina yritin päästä eroon siitä. Oon onneks viisastunu siitä.
Maailmas on muitakin ihmisii joiden kanssa tiet on vaa eronnu, oon vaan liian katkera kaikesta etten edes viitsi mainita niitä selkään puukottajia täällä. Haukkukaa vaa pois muuttanutta, oon huomannu, että lopulta mä todellakin oon nauranu makeammin.

Tän päivän kolme eniten soitettua ja soitettavaa biisiä:

1. Hurts - Stay
2. Panic! At the Disco - The Ballad of Mona Lisa
3. Ellie Goulding - Wish I Stayed

Henkisesti sattuu vieläkin, mutta haluun siirtyy eteenpäin ja kokea ne niin imelät elokuva kliseet omassa elämässäkin. Jos joskus tulevaisuudessa sitten tapahtuisikin jotain..

~Lily

Pictures from WeHeartIt (as almost always)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

You Held My Hand

It has been a while since I saw this but still..

I saw a dream.. I were somewhere in Porvoo (I at least think it was Porvoo) and found a small and old toy store. I went in and my best friend was there. She looked at me and we started talking about some kind of a present for a little girl. I looked around and I think that in the end I had some kind of a small doll castle and I hold it in my hands. I looked it more closely and that's when the door of the toy store opened. Two men came in. They resembled the ”perfect” princes you see in the Disney movies. I looked one of them into the eyes and he looked back. I smiled a bit and saw that they went to another room which was located behind the toy store.. First my best friend followed them and I came right after her. The room was a bit like the toy store. Pretty small, like the really small shops you might find in Old Towns. There was a bed and my friend sat on it and talked to one of the men. I stood near the door and smiled a bit. I was just about to leave when I heard that Kelly Clarkson's ”Haunted” started playing

”You held my hand, You held me tight”

I clearly remember hearing that part of the song and the man who I looked at earlier stood right before me. He took my hand and we started dancing. The dance seemed to last forever. We just danced and danced. And the song kept on playing in the background.After the dancing finally came to an end I felt joy. I was incredibly happy. I looked at the man and he smiled back at me. He took a step towards me but then walked past me. The man my friend was still talking to stood up as well, mumbled something and left as well. I stood there, not knowing how to feel and woke up.

First of all.. I've liked Kelly Clarkson ever since her first album came out but I've always thought that ”Haunted” is one of her creepiest songs. So I don't like it that much (I still listen to it now and then) and the second thing is.. I can't stand dancing! Okay, I enjoyed the Finnish version of prom but otherwise I don't like it. And the third thing is that I'm heart broken. I don't even want to think about guys so why do I have to have a dream like that?

And I can't even remember how he looked like...

Thank you for the dream though.

~Lily

"I Wanna Make Up Right Now"

My brother made me listen to Punk goes Pop CD he has on his laptop and I fell in love with some of the songs immediately :) I usually can't stand the music he listens to (except Dead By April :3) and now I found some songs we both like but those are only covers so.. :S

  1. Asking Alexandria - Right Now (Na Na Na) (WAY better than the original song! :3)
  2. The Ready Set - Airplanes
  3. The Word Alive - Heartless (I LOVE The Fray!!!)



Okay, those are all from the 3rd Punk goes Pop CD but My brother didn't send me the songs from the 2nd one :(

Today I haven't done almost anything.. I wrote 2 letters and I think Raven is going to send those today.. (Betty & Maria, your letters are coming soon! :) At least I hope so :))
I didn't go to the classes because I wasn't feeling that well..

I spent the night at Raven and Emma's room since my roommate weren't here and me and Raven would have slept in our rooms all alone so I decided to take my mattress to their room and I think I slept pretty well.. :) It was nice to talk about everything and drink tea :)
I think I slept well (even though it doesn't feel like I did) and now I'm keeping my hopes up so that I get to go to the classes tomorrow.. :) Well, I think that I'll go even if I'm sick :) Been a while since we had proper classes and our teacher is back from Canada :)

I've decided not to touch the homework/assignments/exams before the weekend and I'm really keeping that promise. I'll be writing letters and I try my best to send those asap. :)

Lately I've started reading exchange student blogs and I've got this urge to travel.
I know that I'll be going to UK soon but it doesn't feel like a proper trip.. It's still "just" a study trip.. After that the school is over and summer starts.. I'll be cosplaying and working (and I'll be taking entrance exams to universities: Jyväskylä, Joensuu and Tampere). After that I don't know what to do.. I've KINDA already planned that I'd go to UK in July or August.. BUT. Now that I've got a new penpal from Italy and she lives in a town I've already once visited (though I was 6 at that time).. And I kinda want to go there as well.. I don't know what to do ;;__;;
After all I guess I'll be going to UK at least twice this year because our family friends are getting married.. SO..

But at the moment all I can do is dream.. :) When I have more money (or win the lottery) I'll go to South Korea(Seoul, Busan etc.), Japan (Osaka, Kyoto, Tokyo), Thailand (BANGKOK!), Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) and China (Shanghai). And it would be great to go to Australia once again.. :) I still want to see the Ayers Rock..
(I just checked the flight ticket prices between Helsinki - Rimini - Helsinki and Tampere - Edinburgh - Tampere (during August..) To Rimini the cheapest flight tickets were over 1500€!! SERIOUSLY!!! To Edinburgh on the other hand it would cost ONLY ~200€ (even less probably).. SO that's it about the problem :))
But I'd still love to travel around the Europe and see Italy.. Probably it'd be cheaper to fly to Italy with a cheap flight and buy and interrail ticket.. :) But we'll see.. (if I only got more money first :D)

Luckily dreaming is free.. :) I guess I'll be going back to bed for a while :) I feel a bit sleepy..

~Lily

Monday, March 7, 2011

Last Day of my Winter Vacation

The vacation is nearly over.. I came back to the dorm yesterday and I've been putting things back to where those belong.. Feels weird to be back at the room 418, alone. My roommate won't be coming back today so I'm sleeping all alone in the cold room. It feels weird since usually I'm one of the last ones to arrive and first ones to leave..

Last night was creepy.. The whole dorm area where I and 6 other English students live was silent, dark and empty.. No one else came yesterday.. Luckily now at least Raven came back to the dorm and probably 2 others will come during today as well.. :) I would've freaked out if I would've stayed here all alone for another night..

During the vacation I didn't have that much time to sleep.. I was up and running almost all the time.. On Friday, February 25th I met my friend Nora who's going to Canada for a year in August or September.. SO I needed to make sure she'd write to me and start writing a blog about her year as an exchange student in Canada.. :)
On Saturday I went to Jyväskylä with my mom and brother.. And I met my cousins Anna (12yo), Antti (6yo) and Lasse (4yo).. I had some fun with them outside while my mom and my aunt went shopping.. So me, my brother and Anna ended up watching after Antti and Lasse as they had fun in the snow :) In the end Lasse started calling me "Munamies" ("Eggman", a Finnish, sketch character) because I had a white hat that resembled his hat (at least that's what he thought..)
On Sunday morning Anna came with us and we drove back home.. She stayed at our place until Thursday (that's when she got sick, right after she got back home..) In the end my family is sick and I'm honestly waiting to get the cold as well (I ALWAYS get sick.) During the time Anna stayed at our place we went to Helsinki and Kouvola.. Pretty much traveled around the area where my parents live..
On Friday I finally met Ninnu after a while :) After the New Year we haven't had time to meet but in the end we managed to meet since she had some kind of a project week (haha, right! If I had a project week I'd pretty much sleep all day and think of it as a vacation :D) and I had a vacation so.. :) We talked about things, especially cosplay and now I know which ones will be my first costumes this year :)
  1. Edward Elric from Hagaren no Renkin Jutsushi (FullMetal Alchemist), group cosplay with Ninnu as Alphonse Elric and Rige as Winry Rockbell
  2. Hatsune Miku ~ Vocaloid (Madness of Duke Venomania version), group cosplay with Kimmy as Meiko and lots of other people whom I don't know. YAY~ I guess I'll be all quiet the whole day since I'm afraid of cosplayers who are known.. :) Can't help it!
Oh! And I just realized.. Last year I was only crossplaying in Desucon but this year I have one cosplay \(^__^)/ YAY! I don't need to use duck tape or anything like that on the other day :D But I need to use a lot of make up D: Honestly.. Cosplaying is killing me slowly but surely and before that it causes me to go bankrupt :(

(Notice how I always end up changing the subject no matter what?)
Anyways~ Yesterday I spent packing and traveling back to the dorm.. Now I'm here and I'm dying.. I need to do assignments, home exams and stuff like that but I have no energy ;;__;;

I'm still a bit heart broken but I think I'm okay sooner or later.. After all I'll be spending my time with my "roommates" for the next 3 weeks and meeting my penpal Viivi after.. umm.. 6 or 7 months? I'm not sure but it's been a while.. :) She's been my penpal since I were in 5th grade so.. 8 years? :) We've pretty much grown up together since we've been sharing our thoughts, problems and pretty much everything with each other :) So it's nice to see her again after a while :)

Let's hope that I'll get over everything quickly.. Lately a lot of people have died around me.. But I guess that's mainly because I'm getting older and my grandparents and their friends age as well.. Last week a family friend died.. He was around 70.. He just got a high fever just like that, was taken to hospital and there they decided to move him to another hospital.. He never made it in there.. I've known him all my life even though lately I haven't met him almost at all.. But still, he has been there when my dad was young and he saw me grow up and now he's gone.. RIP.

And my mom and me haven't talked almost at all after the fight.. Sometimes we may exchange a word or two but it's mainly about my school fees, cleaning, money or food.. And that's basically it.. I'm hurt and she doesn't want to apologize.. I was happy to receive a letter and see that at least one of my penpals has the same problem.. It relieved my "pain" a bit.. I've never been close to my mom so I kinda envy my friends who are close to their moms.. I never had that and I guess I never will.. But I do have my brother who's really close to me.. Ever since we moved to Australia we've been close.. In Australia we only had each other to play with.. I did make some kind of a friend there (and we almost drowned together in a beach near Sydney) but it was hard to communicate with her..

But I'm not afraid of water.. Weird isn't it..? In fact I love water, I just don't like swimming pools or swimming halls. And that's only because of my atopic skin.. I haven't been in a swimming hall at all after I turned 16.. Before that I had to fight with the teachers everytime we needed to go to a swimming hall.. I had this bad rash after every swimming lesson and still the teachers wouldn't believe me that it was because of the water.. (I honestly hated P.E and I still do.)

I'm looking forward to this year even though the beginning has been the worst one there is. I can't wait to go to UK with my roommates and meet some of my foreign friends this year (fingers crossed!!).
Maybe I'll change during this year and become a better person.. I'll fight and give my all during this year. I won't do a half-assed job. I promise! :)

Off to make some tea and start writing letters~ :)

~Lily

Pictures from WeHeartIt