Wednesday, December 7, 2011

This is so unfair!!

Why can people read me like an open book?
Yet I still act like they've got it totally wrong.
Yes,
it's about a guy.

S has her crush with whom she talks and sends emails and such. H on the other hand has dates with older guys and many guys seems to be interested in her.
Then there's me. The nerdy tomboy who cut her hair just to look more like a tomboy. And yet I dress up in dresses and such whenever it's needed and Kimmy needs a model........... I haven't had a PROPER relationship in a while and now that the people I hang out with date or are starting to date I feel like I'd love to go out for a coffee or something, even for once!

I always fell in love with the guys look or personality but at the moment I have a crush on a guy with a perfect personality, GREAT sense of humor and he looks quite handsome to me..
I've had a crush on him since September but I haven't done anything. We talk now and then and it feels natural..
But ever since I had the Korean night with T and S....... We talked about guys and about the fact that one of the guys in our class seems to be a total stalker and when T changed the subject to HIM they both started pairing me up with him. And since then S has brought it up whenever we're at school and talk about relationships.......
For example today while we were waiting for H in front of the campus library I talked about how all of my relationships up until now have been failures S started mumbling something and all I could hear:
".....and then there's the winner *add the guy's name here*"
I'm surprised I didn't freeze or blush (as S does when we talk about her crush) but kept smiling and laughed it off.

After we found a place for S and H to write their portfolios - I was there only to help them since I finished my portfolio yesterday evening/night. While S went to get tea for herself from the campus café me and H talked about the fact how S is trying her best to pair me up with the guy (and scolds me for saying that I'll die alone). H said that she finds it hard to imagine me dating him and I don't wonder why :)

After our portfolio session we went to our project class. I saw the guy a bit earlier and he said something to me but I couldn't hear what so I just smiled.
He ended up coming to the classroom a bit late and of course he came to me and asked whether he could sit next to me. I smiled a bit and said "yeah" and after that he changed to Finnish and laughed that he could have just as well asked it in Finnish. And I ended up talking with him a lot more than I did with my friends. We talked about portfolios and such and laughed a bit.
I could see myself going out with him but the problem is that I don't know whether I have the courage to confess and I'm not totally sure whether he's single or not :/
Why does it have to be this hard? .__.

But at least I have the chance to go to S's place tonight and talk with her about this!!

~Lily

3 comments:

  1. The way I see the whole situation; how can you know (or how can your friends know) if you don't try? Try talking to him a bit (how often do you usually talk?) and maybe ask for his phone number ("Just in case I have any school things I need to ask you and my friends aren't answering their phones hehe!" or something like that). Then text him if he'd like to have a cup of coffee with you someday!


    Because what do you have to lose? ;--) If he says YES, great! If he says NO or that he's dating, then you'll know and get a peace of mind.


    I know it's hard when you're really shy but every now and then we all have to take risks - otherwise you'll just regret that you didn't do anything :---)

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  2. I talk with him whenever I see him :)
    We think alike so it's always fun to talk with him :)

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