Monday, December 12, 2011

Mood swings :)

Lately people who are closest to me mentally or physically have been listening to me and my "man problems" like H says.
I have been fighting with myself and I came to the conclusion that I'll let things be like those are - at least until school starts again in January 10th (it was supposed to start on 16th but thanks to our project our class will be starting school 6 days earlier (while I'll be back in Porvoo Jan 6th :))

I had my last school day of 2011 today and it was quite nice.
Went to school with S and I was able to talk with her about the weekend and everything. It was great.
Tomorrow I'll be packing the rest of the stuff, finish my book summary and take a bus to Kimmy's place from where we'll be leaving to Tampere on Wednesday :)
I still can't believe I'm going.. :)

On Friday I hanged around with him for the whole day and it was a blast :)
I'm so thankful that I have a nerdy brother :DD
I knew the memes he was talking about, bronies and such ;)
"You are aware that Doctor Who is a children's show?"
I had fun talking with him and even the fact that I was at school until 5pm on Friday or that I failed an exam didn't bother me :)
And I told H about the situation. I didn't even have to say that much.

"It's about guys, right?"
"Yup.."
"Your ex?"
"No.."
"NO WAY! You don't mean HIM??"
".........I do.."
"I KNEW there was something going on!!"

Today on the other hand he felt quite cold and distant and my friends had to listen to me weeping that I'm nothing more than a buddy to him.
So I tried to concentrate on helping S with Finnish and H with math. After lunch we went to lobby and sat there. He sat near and we started talking about the Alcohol Issues exam we had today. Thanks to him I managed to get at least some parts right ;) (I still think that I failed that one as well - see how good of a student I am?)

He sat in front of me during project hours and after our teacher left he turned around and talked with me and L (last Thursday he said that we look related as we both have short hair - she has red hair, I have brown, she's 24 while I'm 20. We could almost be sisters ;))
And in a while T joined us and we talked about the Moomins (The Groke especially - I learned that it's she when I was 18 (in Finnish there's only "hän" for both she and he so of course we don't know the precise gender - sometimes it's a good thing, especially when talking 'bout guys :)) and other series that caused traumas to us when we were small :)

During the lecture before the exam I sat in the other side of the classroom with S, T and L. S taught me to pronounce her real name and other things in Vietnamese while L and T were laughing and having fun. At times I looked at him and he was looking at me.

I really hate this D:
Why everything has to be this complicated? :(

H wanted to get a hug so I hugged her at one point (didn't ask why but who wouldn't hug a friend?) and a bit later I was still quite down and she walked with me to a classroom and hugged me saying that we're even :)

While we were changing the classrooms he talked with me and before the exam we sat quite near each other and had a debate over youtube celebrities.
Before we were allowed to leave from the exam he turned a bit and looked at me and I smiled to him - the kind of smile "you'rereadyaswellanditwassuchadamnhardexamright?Seeyouintheretakeexam!"

I was the first one to leave and waited for L, T, D and A as we live in the same apartment buildings, it was raining and L promised to drive us home :)
It didn't took more than a minute from him to be at the chairs where I waited. He smiled and asked how the exam went.
I started laughing and told how poorly I probably did. He laughed and told me the same. We talked and walked to the lobby with others and then he left before I could even wish him Merry Christmas and such as I won't be seeing him before January.. (One month ;;__;;)

So after I went to a shop with T, L, D and A (and A thought I was Russian - I was talking with D and he told me he's going back to Russia on Saturday but won't be home for a couple of nights and I asked where in Russia does he live. When he told me the city and I was shaking my head a bit A opened his mouth and said that he thought I was Russian. T and L are Finns, D is Russian and A is Indian :)) I came home, opened my laptop immediately and went to facebook to send him a message:

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I thought I should send the greetings this way as we won't be seeing before January :)"

He sent greetings back almost immediately and that's it for now.. :)

I won't do anything before he moves closer to me :)

~Lily

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