Thursday, June 30, 2011

Summer Is Short

Picture via

I hate waking up early - to me early during the summer vacation is before 10am.... Yesterday I woke up around 6.30am for the first time, closed my eyes again and then my mobile started ringing.. So in the end I didn't sleep almost at all and I went to work for 7 hours, then I needed to pick up my mom and then to Helsinki...... I didn't feel like going at all...

- Helsinki was okay even though I could have been doing something else at the same time.. Today I woke up pretty early as well and need to go to work :( Don't feel like it at all! I want to sleep..... I have a day off tomorrow but I'll be spending it – writing letters...

I have too much to do before the summer is over and thanks to my job I can't do a thing!!
Since my salary sucks I won't be able to do a thing after the summer either.. My money goes to rent or to the bus tickets (100km:s a day......) Sure, I'm going to Sweden for 4 days in August but that's only because of Närcon - another convention.. After that I'm PLANNING on going to UK once again but it has to wait until next year..

And at the moment I have a pile of letters on my table but when do I have the chance to write those??? I've been trying to write everyday but I usually end up writing only half of a letter which sucks. I wish I could write more even after long days at work..

What I want right now is some peace, lots of free time and a chance to get lost somewhere in the world with a friend or two. I miss the trip to UK - I walked a lot and at times when I chose to leave on my own I got lost and found great places by accident.. I want to do that again..

Take care

ps. part of the post was written yesterday but as blogger decided on not working I had to save it and write later - that's probably why there may be typos etc.. Sorry!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Higurashi-series [R-18]

Definitely not for everyone (In Japan there's no such thing as R-18 for bloody stuff - just porn. SO in Japan Higurashi series is R-16 or R-15 - can't remember which it is..). Lots of blood and killing + psychological horror.
I ended up watching the first series (Higurashi no naku koro ni) when it was released back in 2006. Somehow I really liked it even though I was scared as hell while I watched those episodes - all 26 of them. Then there was the second season (Higurashi no naku koro ni kai) in 2007 - watched all of the 24 episodes and after that there was OVA (Original Video Animation) (Higurashi no naku koro ni Rei) in 2009. I've watched all of those and a little while ago I told about the series to my female penpal in Finland. She saw the OP of the first series and said it looked nice - that she might end up watching the series. I doubted since all of her favourite animes have been extremely cute and girly animes - which Higurashi ain't..... at least in most cases....

Higurashi no naku koro ni OP:

Higurashi no naku koro ni kai OP:

Higurashi no naku koro ni Rei OP:

And what the series is (mostly) all about:

And some cuteness:

And as someone wrote:
"To those of you who havent watched Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni/Kai;
It is an extremely cute show with a harem theme and lots of moe characters...............................................and a lot of bloooddddddd and goreeeee :DD"

And I actually loved the series.. I don't know why but I did.. Blood and gore........ Well I've seen Battle Royales as well so........ :)


My and J's conversation (only in Finnish as I'm way too tired to translate - sorry!) (notice my smileys! :))

J: Katoin just yhen videon tästä sarjasta... Se et katon tän ei sittenkää oo ihan varmaa... Vaikutti aika.. tai okei TOSI... ewwww.......... :(

L: verta ja kauhua :) Ja kauheesti kidutusta ja muuta

J: jeps.. ehkä vähä liikaaki... ynh... nyt mul jäi käuheen mielikuvat... Yks hakkaa omaa päätään veittee ja toine nauraa vieressä??? ääks...

L: yhes jaksos toinen raatelee toisen elävältä ku kolmas on kiinni ja pakotetaa kattomaa

J: ugh.... mikä oli sun mielestä kauhein kohta? tai ällöin?

L: varmaa vaa se ku yks repii päähenkilön kaikki kynnet sormista ja se päähenkilö on aivan tajuissaan yms.. :) Tai ku yhen piti olla kuollu mut se ei ollukaa ja tuli tappaa sen päähenkilön :)

J: yyyyyyyh... en taida kattoo... :) Tosta alkululusta ei saa mitään käsitystä millanen toi sarja on oikeesti ^^

L: siin on verta ni se jo vihjaa jonki verran :)

J: ei.. siin ei oo verta.. siin on PALJON verta!! ja huutoa... ja tappamista paljain käsin... jne. jne...

L: nii on.. :)

Watashi wa Kumiko desu~

Lately writing doesn't feel as fun as it used to.. I just can't sit still for hours and write letters all day long.. Maybe I should just write all the letters and send all of those at the same time so I wouldn't get any letters for about a week and I wouldn't have to think about when I have the time to write and send the letter and can I really afford it..
Postcards are so much easier, there's only a little space to write but sometimes it's much more fun to receive a postcard than it is to receive a letter (at least in my case)..

There are some people I love to write a lot but it takes a while to reply to as the letters tend to be extremely long (my longest letter has been 12 pages long - I still haven't gotten a reply). I have bought some birthday gifts and "I'm sorry my reply took so long"-gifts for some of my penpals but there's still the letter I need to write.. I think I need to take one or two weeks off and write every second day as much as I can so that the letter pile would disappear..


Monday, June 27, 2011



My authentic japanese name is

森田 Morita (forest field) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child)

Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Thankies to my dear brother~

Sunday, June 26, 2011

115 facts about me.

You can all thank Raven for "tagging" me :)

1. Lily is only my penname.
2. People tend to call me by my first name irl
3. ...which I hate D:
4. I've always looked younger than I am...
5. ...or at least that's what people have told me.
6. I've never been good at keeping a diary
7. And that's one reason I'm so surprised my blog is still alive
8. I've exchenged notebooks with some of my friends when I was in primary school
9. But as I've been moving a lot it usually hasn't lasted longer than a year.
10. I lived in Australia for a little while when I was 8
11. Which is why I love to travel
12. and want to move away from here
13. I already have a plan about moving from Finland to England or Scotland
14. But not that many know about it :)
15. I've been to UK 3 times and visited England, Wales and Scotland
16. And I want to travel to Ireland :)
17. I fall in love too easily
18. Which is why I get my heart broken.
19. I fell in love for the first time when I was 7.
20. And I still think about him now and then.
21. I'm blaming myself about messing up our relationship.
22. I currently have a crush on my friend.
23. Only my best friend knows about it
24. She has known about it longer than I have!!!
25. Last year I had a crush on another friend of mine
26. Only two knew about it
27. I have too many penpals....
28. But I love all of them <3
29. At times I get way too open
30. Which causes people to dislike me at times
31. I get angry too easily
32. But I forget about it really fast
33. Usually people don't even know when I'm angry at them.......
34. I tend to be shy at times
35. And spend time on my own
36. Some people tell me that it seems like I don't like to be around people
37. Which is not true
38. I've known my best friend for 8 years
39. reason why we sound like a married couple when we fight
40. We've been in the same class for only 3 years
41. We call each other everyday.
42. And send text messages.
43. I started snail mail at the age of 9
44. My first penpal was 3 years older than I was and from Lapland
45. She chose not to write with me after one or two years.
46. After that I found V and K.
47. And I still write with them now and then
48. I got my first foreign penpals at the age of 17
49. They were from New Zealand, Zimbabwe, South Korea and Germany.
50. Only Erica (from South Korea) writes with me (from my first foreign penpals)
51. I don't really know how to act around Germans..
52. reason is because one of my foreign (female) friend fell in love with me
53. ..and another reason is because Germans always stop writing with me.. :/
54. I don't really like my native language
55. to me it sounds ugly
56. But I love English
57. Which is why I WANT to move to UK (or Australia)
58. as well as study the language
59. I love to listen to Asian people talk
60. Especially if they use Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Thai or Vietnamese
61. Usually I can tell which language they are speaking even though I don't know those languages that well.
62. I LOVE Doctor Who
63. The first Doctor I saw was the 9th (Christopher Eccleston)
64. But my favourite is the 10th (David Tennant :3)
65. I'm obsessed about him
66. And people around me know that.
67. He's the only actor I've ever admired this much :)
68. I love editing videos.
69. Especially when it's Doctor Who
70. And 10th Doctor/Rose
71. I really wish I could be Billie Piper for a day.
72. I hate typos
73. But my blog posts are usually full of those...
74. The only Finnish band I really admire is Stella
75. Been for years now.
76. And my favourite foreign bands are Simple Plan and Dead By April
77. I know more than people think I know ;)
78. I love postcards
79. Been exchanging those for 2 years now via postcrossing
80. And I started exchanging postcards with postcard buddies a couple of months after that :)
81. My first postcard buddy was&is from China
82. And I love her postcards a LOT.
83. My other postcard buddies are from Netherlands, Thailand, Russia and Finland
84. And maybe from USA and Canada
85. I love dancing
86. That's why I want Xbox 360
87. And kinect..
88. And Dance central :3
89. I'll be traveling to UK next year
90. With my little brother :)
91. I don't get along with my mom
92. But I do get along extremely well with my little brother and dad
93. I love paper and pen RPGs
94. But only my best friend likes it as well
95. I'm a nerd.
96. You can't stop me from playing Final Fantasies or Shin Megami Tensei Personas :)
97. I'm addicted to facebook games.
98. It Girl and Sorority Life just to name the "worst" ones
99. I own lots of postcards
100. And buy more whenever I get the change to
101. I've broke only one heart during my teenage life
102. And it was the worst thing I've ever done
103. I'm afraid of being left alone
104. I believe that some of my friends loathe me
105. Even when they don't have a reason to
106. I like photographing
107. Even though I suck at it
108. I love writing
109. I have a weird imagination
110. Which is why I like to write short stories and fanfics
111. I don't trust guys that much
112. But I still have a great time chatting with some
113. I suck at drawing and explaining
114. I don't like alcohol that much or smoking
115. I might have repeated myself :P

I'll be "tagging" Kimmy and Maria~ :) And Pear if she ever sees this post :)


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Desu flood

Pictures from Desucon 2011 :D (© me or someone else (usually Kimmy but there are some exceptions)) :)) (I won't be on during the weekend because of Midsummer - promised my mom I wouldn't use my laptop so I guess I'll be writing letters and postcards during that time~)




Pun as Hikaru

M as Nami



L and Kimmy


L and M

M, L, Kimmy and me

L and Kimmy

A as Riku :3

Like the Barbie from Toy Story 2 :DD

Like my sword? (E's sword :3) me, S, L2 and M

ninnu, me and Rige

me, ninnu and Rige
I like water.....

Me as Doll from Kuroshitsuji

ninnu and me

me and A - random hug photos are


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tape It Back Together

I would love to write about everything at the moment and finish some of the things I've started (for example my interrail trip to UK in 2010) but I don't have almost any time for that. I'm sorry.
And as I currently suck at staying in front of my dear laptop there won't be that many blog posts during the next week(end).. I TRY to post the last part of my interrail trip as soon as possible (I won't be online during weekend - Midsummer in Finland)

Last weekend was okay. I was a bit disappointed of it but at least I met some of my friends and noticed that I don't get along with some.. (or don't want to) Otherwise it was okay and I liked the fact that for once I had a costume I felt (quite) comfortable to wear (sorry about your Doll costume Kimmy!) For once I didn't took that many pictures but had a "photoshoot" during the convention :)

Doll from Kuroshitsuji (most Kuroshitsuji fans didn't recognize me at all D:) (c) Kimmy

Saturday went by fast (spent time at the convention area from ~11am to 12.10am). I saw the cosplay show (& Finland's euro cosplay), about 5 videos of the AMV show as well as a BL (Boy's Love) panel which was a bit awkward :) Left from the area around 12am and in the end I got to bed after everyone else in our hotel room around 4am (didn't feel like sleeping at all :))

A as Ryoji :3

And on Sunday I woke up around 9am thanks to M who chose not to let me, L or E sleep any longer......... D:
Didn't take that long from me to get everything done (thank you Kimmy) and then we drove back to the convention area and spent the day there (~10am to 4.30pm). Took photos, didn't eat (I don't like to eat during conventions :3) and did some small shopping. A was crossplaying as Riku this time (SEXY Riku~) and I was Edward Elric (ONCE again..... and NO, I didn't get the red jacket even though I said I would D:) (others' cosplays can be found from their blogs : Kimmy, Ninnu - Kimmy's blog is in English while Ninnu's is in Finnish).

me, Rige and Ninnu (c) Kimmy

me, Ninnu and Rige (c) Miika Ojamo

Got home around 5.30pm and mom started nagging IMMEDIATELY. (just as I said she would~). We fought once again and I decided to leave her be and went to bed around 7.20pm and fell asleep before 7.30pm.

The next morning I woke up around 7am, ate breakfast and drove to Kouvola for the last driving lessons so that I'd get my final driver's licence - and I did :) Now I'm done with it and I only have 3 more days before weekend~ :)


ps. I COULD be writing something a BIT more depressing but for once I was thinking about people who read my blog :)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

How're you feeling?

Messed up.
That's all.. I don't feel like doing anything - nothing's going to work out no matter what I do.

And Desucon..? ....................I don't know.. I know that's one of the 2 or 3 times a year I will meet these awesome people I've met at the cosplay conventions but on the other side I don't feel like going at all.. It's just another event, just another convention before I quit.. But A, Kimmy, Pun, N, Ninnu, R, T, E, L and many others will be there.. But it means that I must sacrifice my day offs before my final "driving exam" so that I could get the final driver's licence.. I know I won't be sleeping that much (hell, like I even sleep more than 6 hours a night!).
And just like last year I bet my feelings will be a mess after the convention.. Just like last summer..........
I wish I could just quit my job and sleep for 2 weeks without doing anything. But no, I need the money and all of my day offs are spent cleaning the house or having to stand the same mental abuse that has lasted for 7 years already. And it won't end no matter what I do. I've tried to fight it but in the end it just makes it worse....

Weekend in Lahti would give me a good reason to run away for a while but does it even matter? I will be at home on Sunday evening and she has the whole evening and night to say whatever she wants to... And after that I'm supposed to go to the driving school....... I'm afraid of the result..

Yesterday I broke down. I was honestly burned out and couldn't hold things inside anymore. I started crying at work in front of my boss.. Luckily she has known me for such a long time (and she's her friend.....) so she didn't ask anything and said that I could go home early and take a day off.. She said she understood that my parents' divorce affects me at some level (but that's not the only thing..)

There's so much I'd want to share with someone, to get rid of the burden but I'm too afraid to pick up the phone and call.. It was so much easier when I lived with people (near) my age and who had same kind of experiences (more or less). I just walked to them, sat down and spoke. Now I need to call and I'm afraid I might disturb someone.. And writing isn't enough anymore.. I have to talk and I need someone to listen to me...

Messed up blog post and everything.. Sorry about that.. I could probably use some sleep..


Pictures via

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Aina palaan, näihin aina palaan, kuin lintu samaan pesään

Stella has been the only band I've listened to these past 2 days. I love the fact that their songs sound so cheerful and happy even though the lyrics are about car crash,

"Mihin minua viedään?
En sanoista saa selvää.
On tilava kyyti ja joku täällä
minun puolestani hengittää.
Mihin minua viedään?
En sanoista saa selvää.
Koneet on kiinni ja hengittää"

rape/unwanted pregnancy, suicide, mental disorders and stuff like that.. But some of those songs remind me of my childhood and of the people I once knew. Some even sound like those were written by someone who knows what my life is like..

"Avaimet kun laitan kaulaan
muistan kuinka aina naurettiin:
- Opettajan lapsi oot
- Ja sinä vasta koululainen"

"Sinä olet puitten sylissä
Leppäkerttujen laukaisualusta
Risti tieni varressa
Muistomerkki enää"

"väsynyt oon odottamaan
numero kädessäni toivon, että mua kuunnellaan
taas uudet lääkkeet, näillä se lähtee, sanovat"

"Kumpa hetkeksi voisin hengähtää
ajatuksia paperille pistää
tai edes nukahtaa"

"jos puolet sinusta on vielä kuin ennen
sen toisen mukana on mies jonka tunnen"

But lately I've found my new favourite song: (and it ain't nearly as alarming as those others :D)
"Tästä syksy vasta alkaa"

"Mul on laukussa hiekkaa vielä kesältä
Monta päivää on satanut vettä
Sä oot joskus aika korni ja usein totinen
Sanot tästä syksy vasta alkaa"


Sorry for boring posts lately. Busy with letters~

Monday, June 13, 2011

Jokin on muuttumassa

Photo via

Pääsin pitkästä aikaa ihan kunnolla kaupoille. Vapaapäivä, erittäin sateista ja kylmää, joten enpä muutakaan keksinyt. Laukut autoon ja Kouvolaan. Kouvolassa suuntasin Citymarketiin ja heti ensimmäisenä levyhyllyille. Ja sieltä se sitten hyppäsikin silmiin ensimmäisenä - Stellan uusi levy: Jokin on muuttumassa. Nappasin siitä heti ensimmäisenä olleen levyn ja suuntasin kassalle onnellisena - Simple Planin levy ilmestyy n. viikon päästä mutta tällä hetkellä se ei kiinnosta.

Juoksin sateessa parkkipaikan läpi autoon ja laitoin turvavyön kiinni ennen kuin aloin lisäämään ääntä radioon. CD sisälle ja suoraan 7.kappaleeseen. Kun "Kutsumattomat vieraat jääkää kotiin" alkoi soida iho meni täysin kananlihalle ja huulille nousi leveä hymy - tätä levyä on odotettu.

Tapahtui kuitenkin sama kuin edellisen levyn kanssa. Toinen levy - Pelkääjän paikalla iski heti ja se taitaa ollakin oma suosikkini. Kolmannen (edellisen) levyn kohdalla ensin aukesi "Korkokengät" ja siitä useamman kuuntelu kerran jälkeen muutkin kappaleet ja tuloksena oli rakastuminen.
Tällä hetkellä "Jokin on muuttumassa" soi taustalla kaiken aikaa ja jo näin alustavasti voin sanoa pitäväni levyn kappaleista, kunhan kaikki vain aukeaa :)


ps. Stella on siis ainoa suomalainen bändi jota todella fanitan.
"Löytäjä Saa Pitää" on soitetuin albumi
"Pelkääjän Paikalla" on toiseksi soitetuin
"Kuuntelija" on viidenneksi soitetuin

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I ♥ our postwoman :)

No, I didn't get the stamps today either :( Wonder what's wrong with Itella (once again :(). I need the stamps so that I can send the packages, letters and postcards I need to send :( But no.. .__. Let's hope that I'll get it tomorrow..

But I still got lots of mail today! :3
-A letter from B/Netherlands (which is a bit odd as I haven't replied to her earlier letter yet :S Well, I guess she'll be getting a long letter back :))
-a Jetoy postcard from China (via Postcrossing forum - Cartoon/Comic strip/Anime postcards tag)
-2 postcards from my Finnish postcard buddy M (I love the fact that she sends Fairy cards! :))

-Order from Janetstore♥ (2 Amy&Tim Notebooks, Miki notebook, 5 small Amy and Tim postcards, 1 decotape and Alice in Wonderland letterset)

-Private swap (package) from China

Haven't written anything today (yet) but I did finish playing Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 for good :) The ending was ripped off from Persona 3FES but no can do..Maybe I'll start the games once again from the beginning :3

Oh! And my little baby has been really lazy these past 4 days.. He has just slept and sat on my lap :3 And been extremely cute!

Take care!



Had a small chat with N a little while ago.. Can't believe that she's leaving Finland for one year and will be studying in Canada.. We haven't been talking that much lately as I've been busy with everything just as she has been.. Last meeting will be in August a bit before she's leaving and I make sure she's bringing me something from Canada :)

Life is okay at the moment, had a day off yesterday and another one today and I've had time to relax and think things through. I'm going on with my life, no use in lingering in the past and asking myself "what if..?". I won't let things bring me down. I'll be probably moving in August so I need to get things done and I don't have time to be depressed over some stupid things. :)

I was supposed to go to Porvoo and meet Kimmy yesterday but our plans changed. She'll be coming over on Wednesday and we'll be finishing our cosplay costumes for Desucon :) Then she'll come once again on Friday for a sleep over and on Saturday morning we'll pack our bags for the weekend and go to Lahti where Desucon is held (it's sold out! :3) :)

On Saturday I'll be cosplaying Doll from Kuroshitsuji.
The costume is Kimmy's but as I've been busy and almost broke I didn't have any time to decide on another costume as one of the plans got cancelled while I was in UK.. :(

On Sunday I'll be c(r)osplaying Edward Elric from FullMetal Alchemist (once again but I can't help it as he's my favourite character ever :)) Oh! And this time I have the red coat :)

And the night between those days we'll be sleeping in a hotel :) 3 girls and 2 boys in one room.. It's going to be interesting as I know someone likes L ;) I'm happy that I'll be able to chat with some a little more than I'm used to so I'm totally okay with it as long as I don't need to sleep on the floor :)

So. Instead of going to Porvoo yesterday I was at home and decided to write some letters :) I got one letter (first letter from K/Germany - he's my first male penpal from Europe :D) and 2 postcards (from A/Finland - we're postcard buddies for the summer :)). Now I'm waiting for my stamp order so I can send letters again (ran out of 1st class stamps a while ago), one first letter from M/Finland and a letter from Maria :) And I got a message from my penpal from Sri Lanka that she'll be sending her letter to me soon ^^ Can't wait! :)
Anyways, I wrote 5 letters yesterday - 3 for my Finnish penpals - P, S and E, first letter to K/Germany (his letter was so short so I decided to write a reply to it immediately and a first letter to my Lithuanian penpal A :) - and 7 postcards - 4 for postcrossing (Taiwan, Russia, Belarus and Ukraine), 1 for my postcard buddy from Netherlands and 2 cards back to A :)
We'll see what I do today and how many letters I end up writing :)

Pictures via

Take care and have a great summer!