Friday, April 8, 2011

More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers #4

"We Need To Think About Us.
love you"

That's what HE said yet he didn't mean any of his words..
I got my hopes up immediately after I heard that he had been worried about me because of my abcence from everywhere.. I just broke down mentally and a little bit physically on Monday evening.. I just wanted to scream, cry and break down for good but somehow I ended up keeping myself silent. Not a single tear dropped or even started to form in my eyes. I was tired of everything and everyone and decided to keep myself away from him. It didn't work out in the end and here I am, hurting myself once again because I have this little light of hope inside of me that he'd really like me more than a friend..

His every word that gives me hope hurts me a little bit more.. I can't understand how I let myself go through this once again, I'm afraid and I'm tired of this.. But I guess I'm a masochist..

"If you were here everything would be different.
It would be like.. Life could be a bitch..........."

but it wouldn't matter......

quoting Matthau Mikojan (whom I'll see tomorrow:)
"Eat my heart, bathe in my blood
Never leave my torn body alone"


~Lily

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