Tuesday, March 15, 2011

More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers #1

I have to admit it.
I LOVE him.

I don't care whether he sees this or not, nor whether he recognizes himself in the text. I just need to get this out since it's the only subject I don't have the courage to talk to him about.

Miles separates us physically but our minds and hearts are close. I feel happy whenever I get the chance to talk with him and tell him about everything that has happened around me lately.

I've always been better at talking with guys.. (Okay, there are SOME exceptions) Maybe it's because I never had a good relationship with my mom and when I was 6 all of my best friends on my freetime were guys.. And it lasted pretty much until I turned 11.. After that the only guys I've gotten along with have turned out to be assholes (sorry for my language but I'm serious) or just ended up falling for another girl and forget all about me after that. Yay!

So this time I'm afraid of getting my heart broken once again because of the distance between me and him..

We don't share the same mother tongue but it doesn't matter. We both have English as our second language and we use it to communicate with each other. And we could even learn each others' languages.. Well, maybe it would be easier for me to learn his first language than him to learn mine..

We're friends who can talk about everything with each other except of our feelings. Neither of us has the will to confess first, at least I think so, and I don't want to be the one to do that..

Still we're already talking about meeting somewhere in the Europe this summer. Neither of us would be staying in our home country, we'd get to know each other somewhere else and explore a city together.

I hope I'm not waiting for it more than he is.. I'm afraid that things won't happen the way I hope those to.. What if I've read and misunderstood his words, what if I'm JUST a friend to him and he only wishes to see me so that we can sit in somewhere and talk about everything like we always do..

Should I be worried about getting my heart broken or not..?
I believe that long distance relationships can work out but what if..........?

~Lily

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