Friday, February 18, 2011

Lately I've had too much time to think.. Normally I just keep focusing on school work but now that our teacher is in Canada and most of our courses aren't being held I've thought about things..

I'm almost never alone at the dorms, my roommate is at the same room 99% of the time we spend in there.. I've still had the time to just sit down, look at my computer screen, walls or the floor. And what I've realized is that no matter how close most of the people are I still feel alone somehow. I want to go home every weekend to see my other friends because I'm afraid that they'd forget about me if I didn't. Sounds stupid but it's because I only have a couple really close friends and i don't wat to lose them no matter what happens.

Currently I have a crush on another friend of mine, like the crush I had during the summer and autumn wasn't enough! Luckily this time I don't even have the will to confess. I've had enough being the one to confess and then become rejected or just lay in the bed and wondering how things would be if I'd be together with my crush..

I'll be having a vacation on week 9.. But next week I'll also stay at home except on Thursday.. I have an exam that day and I'll come here and take it, then back to home and spending the vacation with school books..

Lately I've got the strenght to write letters back.. Yesterday I wrote 5 letters, 2 to Finland, 1 to South Korea (didn't send it yet), 1 to Israel and 1 to Italy.. We'll see when I start getting letters back once again..

Wonder when I'll get my normal cheerfulness back..

I'll write more later~

~Lily

2 comments:

  1. Do you like having people around you all the time or do you need some time for yourself on a regular basis?


    I need some 'alone time' every day. It doesn't need to be much; maybe an hour or so. But still, I need that moment in my day when I can just do what I want, by myself, without other people around me all the time. I wonder how I would handle the dorm living, with people around me all the time.


    I'm sure that if the people back home are really your true friends, they won't forget you. ♥

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  2. I need some time for myself.. Otherwise I feel like I'm being suffocated..

    It's been hard to live at the dorm now and then since there's almost no way you could be alone for more than 10 minutes..

    Thank you :)

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