Sunday, January 2, 2011

Take My Pain And Numb Me From This

Me quitting blogger.. It's not because I don't have many readers or the fact that I don't get comments? I don't care about those at all! Even if I didn't had a single reader I'd still write..
It's because of the comments I get everywhere else..

And I don't feel like writing that much because of my situation right now.. I won't tell the whole story to anyone.. I don't want to.. Telling hurts more than keeping it inside..

You said you're ashamed of me, you've always been and I've known it from the start.. I know that you hate me.. It's so obvious even if you keep saying that it's not true.. For fucks sake everyone knows the truth.. Are you just trying to fool yourself? You could have just let me go many times during this year and continue my life FAR away from you and your suffocating presence.. Still you keep saying that you want to see me.. It's all just so that you can take your anger out on me..

"In the dark with the music on
Wishing I was somewhere else
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help
I would rather rot alone
Then spend a minute with you
I'm gone, I'm gone
And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault"

Then there's the one sided feelings that refuse to die out even though I want them to disappear.. Those are unneeded because I don't want to destroy my friendships because of my stupid feelings..

"the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you"



  1. Okay. Now I understand.

    Sometimes it helps more when you can share your pain with someone. But it isn't like that always! There are times when you don't want to talk about it. And you don't have to! If you know that it hurts more when you tell it to someone; you shouldn't do that.
    You are the ONLY one to know what is the best choice for you. You make your own choices; Your own future just by being YOU. If someone hates you; she/he doesn't deserve your friendship.

    I don't want to tell you what to do. I just want to make you feel better. I don't know how yet. But I will try. Because I'm your friend. No. Because I'm here for you. You know that. *hugs*