Saturday, January 8, 2011

Breaking Down

Another depression phase reached.. Another thing wrong with this useless body..

This time I'm too tired to cry, too tired to care.. I just wish I could sleep for a month or two.. Even when the teacher accused me and my roommate for cheating on an exam.. To be honest I didn't care. I don't care what he thinks. I don't care about my exam results..

Somehow I wish that my body would just break down.. I'm tired of feeling like the other part of me is already somewhere else.. Like I'm just a half of myself..

I don't want to eat any more pills, I've had enough of stupid pills.. Couple of days ago I just sneezed and blood started coming from my nose.. It lasted for 2 hours and my mom just keeps telling me how I haven't eaten this and this medicine enough. Why would I? The pills make me feel sick and I've already seen 2 people playing with their pills this year.. YES. I mean THIS year, 2011! Only about one week gone and already 2 people have been playing with their medicines. It was so close I didn't call the ambulance..

And I don't want to go to a shrink. They can't help you.

So I think there's nothing more to do than just try to keep on living with the depression and the stupid body I have..

1 comment:

  1. I've always thought pills are useless when it comes to depression; they don't solve anything. My close friend suffered depression for many years and all she did with her pills was, like you said, play around with them. Because of the pills, all I did was wait that one day I'll get a phone call that she has overdozed or something. She has been much better without them, seriously.

    Really, I think the only help is the support from other people and finding peace with yourself. Just hang in there, I wish things would get better for you, luv! They got better for my friend too, even if she was SO close to giving up millions of times. *hugs*