Saturday, December 31, 2011

Goodbye 2011!!


Happy New Year everyone!! :)


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Mail Update

As I really haven't posted anything about my mail in a while I thought I should do that now as I don't feel like writing (these "I'm down so leave me be"-phases once again)
And I won't be posting pics of every letter I've received as I collect stamps and some envelopes have been cut because of the stamps (F/Indonesia and Y/Israel for example :)) and some letters have been replied and because I've written letters for over 10/11 years I have MANY boxes where I keep my letters and I don't feel like starting to go over all of those :)

From A/Finland

From J/USA

From I/Germany

From K/Japan

From A/Netherlands (currently Australia)

From H/South Korea

From N/Finland (childhood friend who's currently an exchange student in Canada :))

From M/Finland
First letters from N/Italy and M/Germany
Lovely letter from Michi/Israel :3
2nd letter from F/Finland. Great to have a Finnish pal with whom I can talk about lots of things :3
Postcards from A/Netherlands/Australia (I LOVE Australia and she knows it x3)

Postcards from Kimmy(Gran Canaria), A/Taiwan (cherry blossoms), Tessa/Austria (b&w with colours - a cheer up card), London eye from Kimmy and a flower from Maria/Finland :)

Christmas cards I've received :)

From E/South Korea :3

From E/South Korea

And to my written and to be sent mail:

Letters to be sent:
Pink Alice: SH/Finland and A/Finland
Blue Alice: SM/Finland and X/Finland
Green Alice: KT/Finland and J/Finland
Purple envies: SO/Finland and KK/Finland

I also have a package to Maria BUT I won't be posting a photo until I have Aya's package ready as well :)

Postcards to A/Taiwan, A/Australia, Raven/Finland and S/China

Take care~




I'm alive (although I don't quite feel like it) and I'm currently catching up with my huge letter pile. Only 2 more letters in Finnish (I currently have 10 Finnish pals and they've bee waiting for my reply since October (all thanks to school.......) and then I'll move on to the ones I need to write in English. I've been a bit sick after I came from London so my mind is a mess and I don't want to write letters in English before I'm done with the Finnish ones and quite healthy :)

The next cosplay convention is held January 14-15th and I have (hopefully) 2 different costumes :) On Saturday I'll be a part of a cosplay group and the series is........
Strawberry Panic!
(GOD I HATE THAT SERIES!!! D: I started watching it when I was 15 or 16 and I'm still at the 18th episode (same problem with Chobits~) shoujo-ai just isn't for me :()
Anyways~ Kimmy bribed me (talked me in) and I'll be cosplaying:
Hikari Konohana from St. Spica's Girls' Institute

Sunday's cosplay is still a secret but I'll be cosplaying with Kimmy. I'll be one of my favourite anime characters (I've wanted to cosplay as her ever since I saw her - one reason could be that she acts a lot like me (Tsundere.)) ~Orange wig~ ;)
Let's hope that my ebay orders will arrive on time! I bought a second wig for Hikari (the first one was WAY too dark) and a shirt for my second costume.. But we'll see :S If those won't arrive I'm screwed.

I also registered myself to a new cosplay site:
Everyone else has done that so why wouldn't I?
The stalkers can find me HERE. :)

Due to the lack of photos in my lappies (yup, I got 2 babies :3) and me being too lazy to go and get my external hard drive there are only 6 photos (Ed & Fuu). I might update it after Frostbite or let it die lonely and forgotten :) We'll see~

But I guess that's about it for now.
I'm sick and rotting away in my room until January 6th so people are allowed to "disturb" me :)

Take care~


ps. Find me in Tumblr

Friday, December 23, 2011



I'm back - been back in Finland since Monday afternoon but due to my constant headache/migraine attacks I haven't really been online.
Had a great time in UK and I bet I'll post something after Christmas.
Merry Christmas/Hyvää Joulua/God Jul everyone! :)


Monday, December 12, 2011

Mood swings :)

Lately people who are closest to me mentally or physically have been listening to me and my "man problems" like H says.
I have been fighting with myself and I came to the conclusion that I'll let things be like those are - at least until school starts again in January 10th (it was supposed to start on 16th but thanks to our project our class will be starting school 6 days earlier (while I'll be back in Porvoo Jan 6th :))

I had my last school day of 2011 today and it was quite nice.
Went to school with S and I was able to talk with her about the weekend and everything. It was great.
Tomorrow I'll be packing the rest of the stuff, finish my book summary and take a bus to Kimmy's place from where we'll be leaving to Tampere on Wednesday :)
I still can't believe I'm going.. :)

On Friday I hanged around with him for the whole day and it was a blast :)
I'm so thankful that I have a nerdy brother :DD
I knew the memes he was talking about, bronies and such ;)
"You are aware that Doctor Who is a children's show?"
I had fun talking with him and even the fact that I was at school until 5pm on Friday or that I failed an exam didn't bother me :)
And I told H about the situation. I didn't even have to say that much.

"It's about guys, right?"
"Your ex?"
"NO WAY! You don't mean HIM??"
".........I do.."
"I KNEW there was something going on!!"

Today on the other hand he felt quite cold and distant and my friends had to listen to me weeping that I'm nothing more than a buddy to him.
So I tried to concentrate on helping S with Finnish and H with math. After lunch we went to lobby and sat there. He sat near and we started talking about the Alcohol Issues exam we had today. Thanks to him I managed to get at least some parts right ;) (I still think that I failed that one as well - see how good of a student I am?)

He sat in front of me during project hours and after our teacher left he turned around and talked with me and L (last Thursday he said that we look related as we both have short hair - she has red hair, I have brown, she's 24 while I'm 20. We could almost be sisters ;))
And in a while T joined us and we talked about the Moomins (The Groke especially - I learned that it's she when I was 18 (in Finnish there's only "hän" for both she and he so of course we don't know the precise gender - sometimes it's a good thing, especially when talking 'bout guys :)) and other series that caused traumas to us when we were small :)

During the lecture before the exam I sat in the other side of the classroom with S, T and L. S taught me to pronounce her real name and other things in Vietnamese while L and T were laughing and having fun. At times I looked at him and he was looking at me.

I really hate this D:
Why everything has to be this complicated? :(

H wanted to get a hug so I hugged her at one point (didn't ask why but who wouldn't hug a friend?) and a bit later I was still quite down and she walked with me to a classroom and hugged me saying that we're even :)

While we were changing the classrooms he talked with me and before the exam we sat quite near each other and had a debate over youtube celebrities.
Before we were allowed to leave from the exam he turned a bit and looked at me and I smiled to him - the kind of smile "you'rereadyaswellanditwassuchadamnhardexamright?Seeyouintheretakeexam!"

I was the first one to leave and waited for L, T, D and A as we live in the same apartment buildings, it was raining and L promised to drive us home :)
It didn't took more than a minute from him to be at the chairs where I waited. He smiled and asked how the exam went.
I started laughing and told how poorly I probably did. He laughed and told me the same. We talked and walked to the lobby with others and then he left before I could even wish him Merry Christmas and such as I won't be seeing him before January.. (One month ;;__;;)

So after I went to a shop with T, L, D and A (and A thought I was Russian - I was talking with D and he told me he's going back to Russia on Saturday but won't be home for a couple of nights and I asked where in Russia does he live. When he told me the city and I was shaking my head a bit A opened his mouth and said that he thought I was Russian. T and L are Finns, D is Russian and A is Indian :)) I came home, opened my laptop immediately and went to facebook to send him a message:

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I thought I should send the greetings this way as we won't be seeing before January :)"

He sent greetings back almost immediately and that's it for now.. :)

I won't do anything before he moves closer to me :)


Thursday, December 8, 2011

"Has no one ever told you that you're a nerd?"

After yesterday's depressing chat with S and V and this morning's chat which ended with *insert someone's name here* saying:
"Since you don't seem happy with your current life, you shouldn't start a relationship."
It was quite "cheery" to walk the rest of the 5 km way to school after hearing that.
(Thank god there's always those who have known you for years to comfort you (sometimes) if you're down or have some things on your mind!)

I went to school 2 hours before the ICT exam and I'm quite happy I did. I hang around for a while and in the end I ended up going after a classmate to ask for help (ICT problems :P) and she ended up going to a small meeting room with a couple of international male students and HIM :)
Had a chat with my classmate but in the end she asked me to stay there with her and I did.
Didn't took long before we started talking with the guys as well.
I asked help with Excel things and HE was the only one who was able to help me. First he showed it on his laptop and after he noticed that I didn't get it at all he made me try it. Somehow I understood it in the end and shut Excel.
Then he saw my desktop image:


"Doctor Who?" (My heart skipped a beat - seriously! A guy that lives in Finland and knows Doctor Who!)
I laughed a bit and nodded.
"Has no one ever told you that you're a nerd?"
I felt somehow happy that I was being called a nerd.
"Yeah, and I know it."

After that we started talking casually about music - especially L's music taste - some metal, some pop, some trance etc. And when she started playing songs like The Voice by Celtic Woman (even my roommate likes the song :3) and Battlefield by Jordin Sparks the talk about music became even more interesting.
We even talked how it's best to listen to sad songs when you're sad because once you reach the bottom you can only go up :)

And about 30mins before the exam started I went to the cafeteria with L and we talked about the fact that she'll be changing to another school after this year and I told her about my plans. It was quite nice but in the end I almost came late to the exam and I had to take the exam in another class than all of my friends..

After the exam it was snowing and I was supposed to go home but somehow I ended up going to Kimmy's place for 2 hours and came home after 6pm. I have another exam today but I haven't studied at all.. I got angry because I need to redo one of my essays/assignments and started writing it, found and ate all the cookies and sweets I had and now I'm getting ready for tomorrow.. :)


ps. We don't like Adele :(

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

This is so unfair!!

Why can people read me like an open book?
Yet I still act like they've got it totally wrong.
it's about a guy.

S has her crush with whom she talks and sends emails and such. H on the other hand has dates with older guys and many guys seems to be interested in her.
Then there's me. The nerdy tomboy who cut her hair just to look more like a tomboy. And yet I dress up in dresses and such whenever it's needed and Kimmy needs a model........... I haven't had a PROPER relationship in a while and now that the people I hang out with date or are starting to date I feel like I'd love to go out for a coffee or something, even for once!

I always fell in love with the guys look or personality but at the moment I have a crush on a guy with a perfect personality, GREAT sense of humor and he looks quite handsome to me..
I've had a crush on him since September but I haven't done anything. We talk now and then and it feels natural..
But ever since I had the Korean night with T and S....... We talked about guys and about the fact that one of the guys in our class seems to be a total stalker and when T changed the subject to HIM they both started pairing me up with him. And since then S has brought it up whenever we're at school and talk about relationships.......
For example today while we were waiting for H in front of the campus library I talked about how all of my relationships up until now have been failures S started mumbling something and all I could hear:
".....and then there's the winner *add the guy's name here*"
I'm surprised I didn't freeze or blush (as S does when we talk about her crush) but kept smiling and laughed it off.

After we found a place for S and H to write their portfolios - I was there only to help them since I finished my portfolio yesterday evening/night. While S went to get tea for herself from the campus café me and H talked about the fact how S is trying her best to pair me up with the guy (and scolds me for saying that I'll die alone). H said that she finds it hard to imagine me dating him and I don't wonder why :)

After our portfolio session we went to our project class. I saw the guy a bit earlier and he said something to me but I couldn't hear what so I just smiled.
He ended up coming to the classroom a bit late and of course he came to me and asked whether he could sit next to me. I smiled a bit and said "yeah" and after that he changed to Finnish and laughed that he could have just as well asked it in Finnish. And I ended up talking with him a lot more than I did with my friends. We talked about portfolios and such and laughed a bit.
I could see myself going out with him but the problem is that I don't know whether I have the courage to confess and I'm not totally sure whether he's single or not :/
Why does it have to be this hard? .__.

But at least I have the chance to go to S's place tonight and talk with her about this!!


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Just MY luck.

Today (Dec. 6th) is Finland's Independence day and I gotta say that in my mind it's the most depressing holiday there is. We don't even celebrate it!! We just sit at home and think about the men who fought for our independence in the 40s........
I'm jealous to Americans with their 4th of July - we don't even have fireworks!!!! D: Even the Australia day was more interesting (even though I spent it with my mom's aunt and her friends D:).

I was planning on writing my portfolio today as the deadline is tomorrow evening (everything is done a day or two before the deadline~) BUT I had totally forgotten that I didn't have the file I needed AND our schools pages were down from 6am to 6pm D:

1) I couldn't start the portfolio before 5pm
2) I didn't have almost any letters with me - only a postcard and 2 letters I received yesterday and I wrote a reply to another one of those last night D:
3) I have already sent most of the Christmas cards

So I wrote one long letter to F today and cursed my luck. Whenever I have time to write letters I don't take almost any with me and when I don't have the time to write I take lots of letters along D:

I hate Independence day because nothing watchable comes from tv and NOTHING happens.. So I've been bored to death today and since 5pm I've been working with the portfolio. I know I'm going to get a failed mark but at least I write what I honestly think.
I'm so sick and tired of acting like I enjoy studying in there and that nothing is wrong.


ps. about one week and I'm in London. And it doesn't feel like it D: I'm screwed!!!!!!! I haven't even started packing (or thinking about it) D:

Sunday, December 4, 2011


After staying inside my apartment for nearly the whole weekend (Fri-Sun) excluding Saturday when I took the garbage out and went to the shop with S and V. S is in touch with the guy she likes and I'm a bit jealous. She's so cute and girlish and blushes whenever people bring up the fact that she's talking with the guy she likes. (I even saw the guy at the shop yesterday and he greeted S with a smile - just the type of guy who'd be gay or taken if I'd have a crush on him.)

Today I woke up around 12 and felt powerless.. It was raining a lot and I didn't feel like doing a thing. So I've been working with some letters, eating lots of sweets (whenever I'm down or feel powerless I eat lots of sweets). I didn't eat anything proper until 7pm when I went to S, V and J's apartment. S had made Vietnamese "hot pot" type of dish (delicious as always! - I'm personally one of the worst cooks I know.) J was still working when we started eating. I was asked to speak some Finnish and I did. We were gossiping and I heard that H had a date with a foreigner. S didn't know with whom but I had accidentally seen H's phone when she got a message from an older foreign guy and based on that we came to the conclusion that they went for a date. This lead to the fact that in the end when J had already came back I was asked whether I'm seeing someone and I just bluntly replied: "No." S got upset and started scolding me how I should say that I'm not seeing anyone YET. We talked about everything. Weight, height, yaoi, gay culture in Finland and Vietnam and the fact that everyone else has someone they're interested in.. At one point V started looking at me and asked to see my right hand. I was a bit confused but S told me that V's hobby (apart from wanting to massage everyone :')) is to read future. So after a while I gave her my hand and she said something that the fact that there's space between two "lines" means that I'm going to have a great future if I work hard towards it. I was taken aback and spent the next minutes staring at my right hand.

I still can't believe I've made great Asian friends in FINLAND. I can be who I truly am with them and we can talk about everything.

And as I cut and dyed my hair... I think short dark hair suits me a lot better. S was surprised to see me with short hair and asked what people had said to me about it and today J came from behind and hugged me asking whether I had cut my hair.

And in the end I made plans with S that she will be coming to one of the summer's conventions with me as she'll be staying in Finland this summer and when I have my next photoshoot (today's plans were canceled due my and Kimmy's tiredness and bad weather) S will be there :3 It's going to be great! :)


Friday, December 2, 2011

Mail day!!

I've received some letters now and then and haven't blogged about those. I will do it later but I just HAD to write a post about a letter I got today :3

I met S through another pal of mine as they're friends (both from Portugal) and J told S about me and that I'm an anime fan etc. So I got a message from S about a year ago and since then we've been sending messages online - interpals, deviantArt and facebook. A while ago we started doing some swaps (she draws and I send her all sorts of anime/manga goodies) and in the end we started writing to each other :)

her drawings:

Hatsune Miku and mailart :3

A drawing she made for my best friend (she got drawings from all over the world) - S was kind enough to help me with that project :)

Mailart :)

My OC Rosalia (half vampire, half angel)

S's OC Azure

And the (first) letter I got today:

Pikachu mailart :3

Black and White from the newest Pokémon game (yes, I still love Pokémon.) - S made the paper

NXWhite (I'm a BIG fangirl!!) Thank you SO much S!! This made my day!! :)


Thursday, December 1, 2011

I keep time

So I went to the movies (it's been ages since I last went.. I think I saw "Leap Year" then :)) as Kimmy had requested (oh, it's so nice to live in the same town with the best friend :)) and she drove us to Helsinki today. We were going to see "In Time" which came to the theaters last Friday (even though it has been playing for example in Turkey for weeks and so.. D:)

We hang around, talked about everything - especially our London trip, she booked me for Sunday and wants me as her model once again and we went to a café and spent some time in there.

It was nice although I slept 6 hours last night - stood up until 3.30am with all sorts of assignments and woke up around 10am. I'm trying to finish all of the assignments as soon as I can so that I would be able to start writing letters once again (if I'm fast and diligent enough I'll probably have everything done by next Friday!!! :3 (exam is held on Friday so.. :3))

Anyways~ The movie was nice :) I've never really liked Justin Timberlake but I think I should give him a try :) At some points of the movie I wished he would've been kissing me instead of Amanda Seyfried ;)
Kimmy wasn't that pleased with the movie but I liked it :)

"In a future where people stop aging at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year, having the means to buy your way out of the situation is a shot at immortal youth. Here, Will Salas finds himself accused of murder and on the run with a hostage - a connection that becomes an important part of the way against the system"
-from IMDb

I hope I get a chance to go to the movies more often during the spring :)


Friday, November 25, 2011

Cuteness :3

I woke up around 6.30 this morning and I immediately felt like shutting the alarm and go back to sleep. I had a dream of David Tennant once again so ;)

School doesn't start before 10am but I was at school already around 8.45 because I walked with S and I was planning on meeting another group leader to talk about the timetables but apparently she won't be coming to school before 10......

Anyways. Yesterday ended up being okay - my comment was read on the radio station which I've started to listen all thanks to Raven and I managed to cook for myself (I NEVER cook and whenever I'm all alone I usually end up drinking tea and eating nothing for the day - that's the reason why I'm still this "slim").

When I walked to school with S I managed to talk about the school project and what pisses me most about my current group. Little by little we changed the subject to Finnish winter and the S surprised me.

"I got an e-mail from THAT guy..."
She had had a crush for a Finnish guy for as long as I can remember and last week she gave him some kind of a card (Asians ARE super cute :3). So when I heard that I immediately started smiling like an idiot and asked about it. Too bad the guy didn't get what S meant with the card and S went silent at one point before continuing.
"I'm.. I'm afraid he's a year younger.. (The guy looks older than 20!!) He had this prom photo in his facebook and it read "2010" in there.."
And then I started telling her about the Finnish tradition of having "prom" in the 2nd year of high school and once again I shocked her (last time was when she asked my opinion about Finnish guys.. She shouldn't let me speak too openly :S). Now she's a bit depressed that the guy is apparently 19.. :(


Thursday, November 24, 2011

"You're the team leader for next week"

F--- you people.
Like I wouldn't have other things to do! D:

So.. My team leader is going to Egypt for one week and decided that I would be the perfect team leader (as I have helped her when she has been skipping classes). I'm busy and I have lots of things to do before December and now I need to run in stupid meetings without knowing everything that our group has done. PERFECT! Why couldn't she choose one of those stupid blonds that are in our group? Or the foreigner??
Yes I'm pissed and I've had enough of this all!! D:

"She kept saying how great you are and that's one of the reason why she chose you! :)"

I hate when people make me do extra jobs D: From now on I won't be helping anyone D:


Wednesday, November 23, 2011


At the same time I'm both lazy and busy.
I've been writing different assignments during this week and at the moment I'm even done with some of those which don't have to be returned before next week.
But this has caused me staying up until 2 or 3am since Sunday. on Monday I surprisingly got to bed early and woke up around 9am by myself and had time to work with some Math problems as school didn't start before 12pm.

Oh~ And on Monday me, S and H were almost left to Helsinki. We visited the Helsinki Exhibition Center as well as H-H in Pasila. No one bothered to inform us that the bus took off an hour before it was supposed to and no one even made sure that everyone was in the bus.... Luckily we noticed it and called T before they were outside of Helsinki so they turned around and came to get us.
Seriously, we only have one Vietnamese student in our class and no one noticed that she was missing! We were laughing when the bus came back but our classmates weren't amused at all :)

Today I decided to skip my only class from 12pm to 1pm BUT I need to go to a meeting from 2pm to 3pm and from 5.30pm forward I'm retaking my math exam :/ Luckily I have money for the bus fare so I won't have to walk to home after dark. The area where I live is the worst in the whole town. Lots of drug addicts and alcoholics so there's NO way I'd walk back during dark. Too bad the cheapest apartments are here as well.. :/

Tomorrow on the other hand I'm skipping my math lesson as I've sent the assignments to the teacher and that's that. We'd only check the problems and as I've made sure all of my solutions are right I'll rather sleep and continue the book summary I need to return by December 12th (I'm a slow reader at times).

I'll be going to school on Friday as we have "Tourism as a phenomenon" and it's the only class I really love. The teacher is one of the best I've had and her voice isn't monotonous at all :)

During the weekend I'll be working and on Monday I need to be at school around 8.30am because:

"Enrollment for the spring semester courses will start on 5 Dec.
I´d like to meet you around this topic on Monday 28 Nov at 8.30 to hear
your opinions on the proposed course offering"

I'm not interested in that at all - I take the courses that are comprehensive and some extras so that I can get the courses I need to take. And I'll start Russian once again.. D: Between German, French, Spanish and Russian I chose to take Russian as I've already studied it for a while so it shouldn't be THAT hard.. And especially if the classes are from 8am to 10am I seriously need a language that's quite familiar to me..

But I guess I should start my morning with the morning tea and breakfast before I even start thinking about school assignments and math.


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Little by little I've started to dislike living "on my own". I live in a dorm "styled" apartment but most of the time I'm all alone. My flatmates hardly spend any time in here and if they do they are with their boyfriends so it means I'm quietly in my room. I get along with them but since they are with their boyfriends or if they are both here at the same time they usually chat with each other as they are classmates and I'm just a freshman.

I've been really down lately and I hate it. I hardly have any money, I don't feel like writing letters or assignments and I just lay in bed and look at the ceiling. And little by little I've started to think about what I REALLY want. I DON'T want to continue studying in Porvoo and I don't want to live on my own. I do have some friends in here but most are foreigners (Asians) which means I'm not always welcome to hang with them as they have these days when they go to Helsinki or somewhere as a group (you know how Vietnamese and other Asian tourists go everywhere in a BIG group?). My best friend works and is busy with her hobbies and my dear childhood friend is in Canada at the moment and won't come back before next summer. And what makes it even worse is that I've been talking with her a lot in Facebook and I REALLY miss her! I saw her a day before she left but now I have to wait until June-July to see her once again...
And the ones who live far away.. I can't even see them because of school assignments and money problems D:


Thursday, November 17, 2011

I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye...

I feel down and depressed and at the moment there's nothing I'd rather do than watch Dr Who's second season (especially Doomsday) and cry my eyes out. But those are in my other laptop. Which is dead at the moment (RIP).......

And on top of that I can't find "Secret Smiles" anywhere and I left my CDs with "Casanova" miniseries at home so I can't really watch anything with Tennant in it :( (which usually cheers me up a LOT - especially while some people ignore me whenever I have a worse phase).....


I miss those episodes and the fact that after Christmas I need to wait for MONTHS before Who is back on doesn't help it (or that I finished Sherlock and the 2nd season airs in 2012 D:) I have seriously nothing to watch (animes aren't counted).

ANY tv-series you could recommend?
I love fantasy/drama/sci-fi some sitcoms and so on~

I just have to have something to watch since I don't have a telly D: